I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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