i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize