I'd wear matching sweaters with you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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