I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
