Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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