im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I need moral support for this bender
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize