garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
The ass gains better be worth it
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