I want to walk on stilts...naked
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
