If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
