I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
