take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
