I heard we made out
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Found your dick twin last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
