Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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