are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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