I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize