Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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