whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
