I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
