he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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