Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
