My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
