When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
is that a dick in a sweater?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
