TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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