So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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