DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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