I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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