I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
