Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
