I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
