This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
