Its about making memories worth repressing
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
