Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
