I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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