he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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