i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
