he puts the penis in happiness.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
