she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
