before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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