i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
