dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
