1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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