I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize