Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
