dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
