I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
