what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
