so explain again why im purple
no
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
