I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
