plz talk dirty to me
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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