oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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