I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
