i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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