i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize