We named our party play list daddy issues
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
