Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
