So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
