Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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