stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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