Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
