the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
