hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
