no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
