i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
